I have realized I am in the wrong business. No one wants a social entrepreneur. Especially not an honest one. But I want dwell and elaborate on that. But I have identified a few other businesses that I’d like to start. I have exclusive copyrights to them so if you steal you will get into trouble.
1. Open a tattoo parlor. Yes, you heard it right. Did you know a tiny tattoo costs like Rs 25,000 ($250)? Now being from the tribal areas, I know a thing or two about those. or at least I should. It ought to be in my genes since about 90% of women I know and about 50% of men too, have had tattoos done on their foreheads, chins, thumbs, wrists, and dunno where else. Tribes in South Waziristan agency which is where I belong to find tattoos very attractive so everyone has them. They take a clean sewing needle and start poking your skin with it in the desired shape. When blood starts coming out they dip the needle in a mixture of coal and water and continue poking you until that coal lodges in your blood stream forever. Then they let you go and after a few days when you have come out of that traumatic experience all in the name of beauty and the swelling goes down you have a pwetty green bruise in a shape of your choice!! And anyone can do it. I had little cousins, not yet teenagers, doing it to each other. So yeah I could bring some relatives from Waziristan and we could set up the parlor.
2. Start trade business. Yeah so today I went to this famous bazaar in Lahore called Duppatta Galli (the scarf street) in Liberty Market. It was to look for something specific a friend in Karachi wanted. While there I took pictures of random pretty stuff – clothes, shoes – and posted it to an online shopping group on Facebook that’s women only. And what do you know! I received more inbox messages and comments on the post than I ever have. Women just went gaga over it and want one of everything. This despite explaining I wasn’t a seller. These were women outside Lahore especially from Karachi. So I know there is a market. I buy cheap stuff and sell at big profits. Also, since my family lives in Peshawar and I visit regularly I can exploit the famous cloth market, Shafi Market. And not to forget, Karkhano (literally “factories”) where you can buy all sorts of counterfeit stuff ranging from YSL and Chanel to Nestle and Godiva. Also, there is a special market there called Sitara Market (Star Market) where they sell stolen stuff from UN forces. Yeah, you read that right. ROFL. So all kinds of fancy night-vision binoculars, swiss knives, weird packaged food, tents … you name it … are available. I can sell it all over Pakistan and make some good money.
3. Food Truck. Best idea ever. Me and my friend came up with it a-la Chef, the movie. So Pakistani folks are crazy over food. At least the ones I know are. Especially when it’s breakfast or tea time. So we thought we would get a small food truck, put an average chef on it, and travel through the country selling food. Now we both love to travel but traveling domestic in Pakistan is going to be hard because of security and all. But we can travel wherever the motorway goes. Get a license to park at the roadside rest areas. Menu would include all kinds of spicy chaats, biryani, lassi, lemonade, samosay and pakoray, and typical Pakistani tea (Lipton Yellow Label). For dessert, we can serve all kinds of mithai (sweetmeat), shahi tukray (my personal fav), and kheer (rice pudding). Yum! It will be so much fun. I can’t wait to start this.