Cesspool

How has LinkedIn become the new Facebook? The pandemic has made people join social media platforms they normally wouldn’t. First it was Twitter. Usually everything I couldn’t say on my Facebook because of those certain people in the family and friend circle I could just throw out into the twitterverse. Then, March 2020 came and everyone I was avoiding was on Twitter. This means a lot of self-censorship. That somewhat filter-less existence was reigned in. It was a good run though. *insert emo emoji* If you are a woman, white or brown or black or yellow or blue self-censorship is what you do. Twitter is for guys to talk about politics and current affairs and you know … all that heavy stuff that’s going to save the world. Women, on the other hand, can celebrate gham hour. If you’re not desi here is an article on what Gham Hour is though I’d take it with a pinch of salt because it’s not always as profound and is usually just loads of sappy poetry and quotes being shared. Or you can post food pictures (the really prominent line between Instagram and Twitter merges when it comes to food), or share jokes and memes or cricket commentary or ask homework questions. God forbid should you dare talk about the “guy stuff” because they will look for you, they will find you and they will troll and abuse and harass you. Trust me, Liam Neeson will seem like a cuddly teddy bear. So while I was already drafting and deleting any tweets that would get me attention from the trolls now even the jokes and rare insights into my mind and thoughts are also blue-pencilled.

But what hit different was when the same crowd started trickling onto LinkedIn. That’s the holy grail of social media!!! I mean, not as in it’s hard to find but that it’s holy. Maybe I should have used a different analogy but am too lazy so just stay with me. This is where if you got a notification you actually took it seriously and looked at it immediately because it might be a great business or work opportunity. Now, unfortunately, the frandshippers (PLEASE DONT TELL ME YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A FRANDSHIPPER IS https://definithing.com/frandshipper/) have found LinkedIn. You will be sitting comfortably in bed watching Netflix and your notification screen will pop up. “Ooohh it’s LinkedIn. Must be important!” naive little you may think. But it’s one of those “wanna frandship” messages. Dunno why but they always remind me of Johnny Bravo.

Like in what parallel universe or a drug induced state do they think they have a one in a billionth chance of their “wanna frandship” or “hullo you butiful magesty” message to get any kind of reciprocity? My biggest fear is the same happening to Pinterest! OMG JUST IMAGINE! Here is a scenario. You’re casually scrolling through your happy place looking at beautiful images of Ireland and daydreaming about this magical wonderland that you know in your soul is where wonderful things are just waiting to happen to you and suddenly a message pops up, “Are you Lahore ki smog? Because you just took my breath away.”

This is my worse nightmare. Am I digressing? What was this post even about?

Yeah, so we were talking about safe spaces for women to express themselves and their opinions on whatever they want without fearing for their lives and emotional health. It’s so stifling when you are an intelligent person with thoughts and ideas an opinions and you have to stop yourself from expressing them because some virtual stranger might attack you with the vilest comments ever known to mankind. Sadly, it’s not just limited to “controversial topics” any more. Social media has become such a cesspool of toxicity you can’t say anything without offending someone. For instance, I sent out a tweet back in Feb 2020 on missing Hunza (anyone who knows me knows my obsession and love for the place). Feb 2021 someone decides this is offensive.

This is the GOOD tweet. A couple started abusing me for it and I had to block them. So now you either just gloss over your true feelings and opinions or speak your truth and run the risk of ending up at a psychiatrist’s clinic. While social media has given everyone a voice it has also unleashed the monster hiding within most of us – the monster of intolerance and violence capable of the most disgustingly inhumane and insensitive behavior. Is that who we truly are deep inside away from the fear of any repercussions to our selves? Was William Golding right all along? “What are we? Human? Or animals? Or savages?

OK byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Croak Croak … Croakun

This is a long over due post about the latest buzz in social media marketing and analytics.

Croakun […] provides real-time social media analytics and personalized actionable recommendations to improve your online presence, engaging better with your customers while being more competitive than the competitors.”

Huh?

OK to simplify, you can watch this video. http://youtu.be/Zbl8K9ANlgg Dear ol’ Govt of Pakistan has put a ban on YouTube so can’t embed. If you are in Pakistan you can STILL watch it using this proxy site (no, don’t worry it’s not Hotspot Shield). Just go to www.Vidproxy.com and paste the above YouTube URL into the QuickLinks box. 😉

Better than this, let me share some screenshots from the beta site. Yes, I have beta access since the founder, Kai Feng, is a friend and a client.

In. Your. Face. HA!

But ahem …

So suppose you want to keep a track of your Twitter conversations. Sure you can use Hootsuite but then how do you make any sense of all that data right in front of you? If you are a big business or an SME you will have to hire media experts (*eyeroll) to go through it and make some sense of it. So, you end up not only spending on the tool but also on your “experts”. Here is what croakun does.

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This is where your Twitter stream shows. You can see on the left you can change between Twitter, Facebok and even G+ and LI I believe.

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Geo Demographics tab takes all your data and puts it into neat charts based on languages and locations. Imagine how awesome this would be for an International Brand or a brand focusing on clients say in the US who speak both Hispanic and English. Possibilities are limitless.

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The Volume tab is the cumulative tweets or facebook status by hours to see what time is the most active hour about a certain keyword!

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Influencers – So if you are looking for influencers for certain keywords from your following list how would you know who are the most relevant tweeples and how they are ranked for that particular keyword? That’s where Croakun makes it all a piece of cake. Getting more and more excited? 😉

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Sentiments – ah, this gives you the pulse of twitterati. How are they feeling that day? Are they in a positive mood? This might be a great time to tell them about a new product launch. Bad mood? Yikes! Stay away – do not announce the new giveaway or what have you.

Can’t wait for it to go live.

In other news … I am well and as awesome as ever. Spending more time on Twitter than Facebook. Enjoying downloading torrents. Working with some great customers and service providers. Loving it!

OK byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Opportunity to Work for a SOCENT in Washington DC

Phew – been away for a bit. Unlike popular belief, it hasn’t been all fun and games. Been making some tough decisions, keeping myself sane (or as sane as I was born), and the having rare moments of being awesome. Like this one! As I write this post I am sitting in an air conditioned coach of a train  on my way to Pindi from Lahore. Last time I read anything about Pakistan Railways was that it was terrible and a nightmare of a travel. Rubbish! So it takes me 5 hours to get to Lahore instead of 4 on the motorway but then it costs a quarter of what it does in fuel if I took my own car (Actually, I don’t spend a penny – my hubbie is in the Railways 😛 ). 

About this post … a dear reader, Shazia Khan who is is an American-Pakistani and runs a social enterprise called EcoEnergy Finance needs help. I am very impressed with this youngster based in Washington DC and couldn’t say no. 🙂 Please read and help out as much as you can. 

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EcoEnergyFinance is a small non-profit, which provides solar energy products to Pakistan’s rural poor in order to provide income generating opportunities, improve health and fight climate change. We were recently selected as one of 19 Social Enterprises supported by the Skoll Foundation’s Global Social Benefit Incubator and are poised to scale rapidly as we penetrate Pakistan’s alternative energy market. We are looking for a motivated individual to become an integral part of our team. Although the position is currently unpaid, there is a very distinct opportunity for upward mobility and advancement in the organization as we grow.

The Fellow will regularly liaise with the Executive Director, Director of Operations and field staff to communicate EEF’s successes and challenges to a wider audience. The Fellow will plan and develop content for EEF’s blog and website. Additionally, they will be responsible for creating a community of followers to tap for ideas, networking and fundraising.

This position is ideal for recent graduates and students with a background in communications, digital media, web development or graphic design looking to gain practical experience with an internationally recognized NGO.

Responsibilities and Requirements:

Since we are a small office, you will be relied upon to assist us in various aspects of program development. Primary responsibilities include:

  • Creating a newsletter for the organization
  • Writing content including regular reports tracking our progress
  • Managing our social media efforts (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn)
  • Keeping our website www.ecoenergyfinance.org and blog up to date

Candidates should have excellent communication skills, particularly excellent writing skills and the ability to collaborate with and assist a diverse range of people. We are specifically looking for someone with meaningful experience in using a wide range of digital platforms, design, CMS or HTML, and website development. Additional experience writing copy and proofreading/editing is preferred. Candidates should also have a keen interest in environmental and international development issues.

Hours are very flexible. This position is unpaid and available immediately.